IN THE BLEAK MIDWINTER, DEFROSTING WRITER DID MOAN
BELLY SOFT AS JELLY, WEIGHS AT LEAST SIXTY STONE…
HER HIGHNESS has been taking chocolates off the tree again. Crook has suggested we steal APPLE PIE from the neighbours and put it in the kitchen so she'll go and bother the KITCHEN SPRITES who have nothing better to do than throw crumbs into corners and steal the last biscuit.
If she goes into one more chorus of WHINE, WHINE DREADFULLY we're going to eat all of the food until our bellies are so full they EXPLODE. If only Treacle hadn't eaten all the MARSHMALLOWS. We could have stuffed them in HER MAJESTY'S ears and mouth until her screeching was a distant mumble. We're not delusional enough to think it would stop her singing.