Pens, pens, pens, pens, pens, pens, pens, PENS!!!!!
Crook has devised a MASTER PLAN to steal all of Her Highness's pens. Reject has torn the pages out of several hundred unused notebooks. Treacle is smearing glue over EVERYTHING. Wheeze is just sitting in the corner wheezing but at least he sounds a bit DARTH VADER(ISH). The GREAT GREMLIN GOD is looking down from his dusty lampshade with a tear in his eye, and I'm about to pluck all the hairs from her most precious WOLF DUDE and scatter them on her keyboard.
We are taking back the OFFICE and destroying CHRISTMAS and all other things for HER ANNOYINGNESS.