I sliced and cut my digital sword into their hide and speared Achilles in the heel.
Beside me, Pretty Paris (played by Microsoft Security Essentials)folded all too easily (too busy staring at Helen, I suppose), but Hector (Malwarebytes) put up a nobile fight and helped me clear my computer of invading Greeks (played by bytes).
I hope Agamemnon (excuse me while I roll his name off my tongue maybe a dozen hundred times) doesn't return. Or if he does, he comes in the form of his namesake butterfly. I wouldn't want to crush its rebellion, but I could if I needed to.
*This bonkers post was brought to you by a seven hour battle with a trojan virus on my precious laptop. I emerged the victor. For now.