HO HO OH - THE TENTH

Could someone tell HER MAJESTY that characters are not real people? And, if they were, then leaving them dangling off sharp things or making them sit in the same position for a week with words juuuuust hanging off their tongues, would be cruel.

Those tears are most definitely fake--sniffle, type, sniffle, type, honking blow into tissue, type. HER LADYSHIP threw one of her snot rags at poor Treacle, causing her to fall straight off the desk. Her Majesty hasn't noticed of course. She's too interested in the plight of the NON-PEOPLE.

 There should be laws against hurting and maiming GREMLINS even if you don't mean to hurt and maim them. Unless, it's that she purposefully knocks us over, or stands on us, or spills ink on us… No one could be that clumsy--not even with a Gremlin's help.