Saturday 18 December 2010

Who am I?

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Oh good lord.

I’m a nightmare. That's number one.

When I was a kid, I wanted the world to play out like a musical with everyone singing at every opportunity. Actually, I still wish the world a singing and dancing extravaganza. When I miss my morning bus, I want to press my hand to my forehead and belt out, "Oh no, I've missed my bus, wait there'll be another, why am I causing such a fuss?" Everything has to be over dramatised in musical land.

Talking of musicals… Erm, meaning 'Once More With Feeling', the musical episode of Buffy… a confession. I never fancied Spike. This one is more for my brother who is convinced I did or do. Yes, his picture is glued to my desk (why did I use glue, now I can't remove it-darn), but that's because he looks super cool and he inspires me. I fancied Riley, and before Riley, I fancied Oz. :P

I love my mirror. Wait…Before you all start thinking I'm a narcissist, I mean, I love my mirror (or rather mirrors) because I've trained them to show 'slim' me. Seriously, I look in the mirrors at home and at work and I see someone who doesn't need to lose weight. It's a problem. Because I do need to… Trust me on that. Once upon a time, when I was skinny, mirrors had the opposite effect. They used to elephantise (is that even a word?) my hips etc. I suspect mirrors are playing with me. However, strange mirrors (ones I've only just met), they don't like me at all. Or maybe they do, because we all need a little honesty in our lives.

…Don't worry, the glass you hear shattering is not my mirror, it's my sanity… Muaha..uhoh…

Sometimes I'm very, very happy and sometimes I'm very, very sad, and most of the time, I drive people mad.

I can't drive. I lost control of a car on a dual carriageway and nearly crashed into some bushes and that was it for me. Never again. Although, after reading the above, I'm sure you'll agree it's safer if I don't have a licence for anything.

I would however love to learn to fly a plane. Fewer things to crash into up there. Except for clouds and clouds don’t frighten me. Not even, rain clouds. How tough am I?

Okay, how many is that? Seven, right…

I'm obsessed with coconut hand cream. I abuse the stuff. The local M&S ran out of my favourite and I had to buy Aloe Vera instead. For me, it was close to a catastrophe. My colleague saved the day. At work a week ago, I opened my drawer and out popped five tubes of coconut hand cream. She'd scoured the four corners of the Earth until she found some. Or else, she went to the M&S in Preston.

I'm untidy. Five minutes after I've finished a cleaning spurge a fresh explosion of paper or make up or hair things happens.

And, I guess, that is me.


Michael Stone said...

What a charming post!


No kidding.

Cate Gardner said...

You're just frightened I'll threaten you with a Christmas bar sized Toblerone.

Tuonela said...

Will someone please follow this woman around with a camera. And an orchestra...

Sophie Playle said...

Ahh I had the biggest crush on Spike!

Fox Lee said...

I don't drive either (though I have a license). It terrifies me, though I do like to be in the front seat.

Simon said...

My only driving lesson lasted about thirty seconds and ended with the ar's front bumper brought to a juddering halt about six inches from a large brick wall... you are not alone.

But Michael got it right. 'Charming' is the right word. Is Thomas Cook doing package holidays to Cateland yet? ;-)

Andrea Allison said...

I thought Spike had his moments, but loved Oz. He was the perfect guy for Willow until she gave up on men altogether.

Cate Gardner said...

I urge everyone to ignore, Ian ;)

I'm heartless, Sophie.

I'm not even keen being in the front seat, Natalie.

Ha, you're worse than me, Simon.

Yes, how could she dump, Oz.

Katey said...

Mike's right--this might be one of the most charming things I've read all year!

wanted the world to play out like a musical with everyone singing at every opportunity.
My family did too, and we'd make it happen. When no one was looking, though! ...mostly. :/

Cate Gardner said...

Ask your parents if they'll adopt me, Katey.