Pulling out my crystal bull and doing my best Mystic Meg (don't ask) impression, I thought I'd start of the week by delving into the stars. Beware, most of what follows is true...
Stealing from the AHWA, here's your horrorscope.
Your split personality will divorce this week. Great news because it means you'll now be able to work on both those projects at once. Bad news for your spouses. Remember using an axe to carve them in two will render them incapable of pencil sharpening.
A rejection will make you crabby. Heck, what's new. Be sure to hunt down the editor who rejected you and catch him or her in your pincers. Before you know it, they'll be dedicating an issue to you.
You're king of the jungle press this week. A competition win will leave you preening and an award nomination will have other writers falling at your feet. Remember, two writers a day is a healthy balanced diet (they're heavy on the butt).
Although you're new to this writing lark an unexpected blog encounter will lead to big things. They're not guaranteed to be good, but if you don't put your foot in the water you'll never learn if the shark wouldn't have bitten it off.
The scales are balanced in your favour. Yeah right, sucker.
The writing world is a poisonous pit. Consign yourself to your garret for the week, don't eat, and you might just make it out with all your pens intact.
You'll receive a handful of rejections this week. Be sure to shoot them straight back out, but remember, an arrow in an editor's eye will slow down the response time. Aim low and pin them to the chair.
Someone will refer to you this week as an Old Goat meaning you're set in your ways. Prove them wrong by changing genre. Write that romance. Make your zombies sparkle and replace their eyes with beating hearts.
Too much sitting on your desk has caused your ankles to swell. This is the week to get out of your chair and do some research. Break into medical labs, open zoo cages, sit a rival in a dentists chair and pull out all their teeth.
This week one of your characters will unexpectedly end up swimming with the fishes. Conduct a mini-funeral in your back yard and bury a slip of paper with their name on. Gravestones are not recommended.
You are determined to ram your ideas down an editor's throat this week. Choose an editor who can swallow above 20,000 words a day, anything less and you're in novelette territory.
You give out bull, you get bull back. Switch to writing your autobiography. After all, you're far more interesting than your characters.