Thursday, 16 October 2008

Bottling David Hasselhoff

I think there are a few funny lines in some of my stories – I don’t think anyone has ever needed surgery after splitting open their sides, but they may have chuckled. Setting out to purposely write a funny story though is just hard, hard, hard. Dark is so much easier.

I submitted something to the Dead Jesters anthology in August and failed. I thought it was funny enough but not dark enough, while the editors thought it was dark enough but not funny enough. Ho-Hum! That story later sold to Arkham Tales. Phew! I wasn’t going to try again, but thanks to a recent post by Gustavo Bondoni, I was persuaded to give it one more try.

So back to the beginning of my blog post – I think there are a few funny lines in some of my stories, though I’m convinced there are none in Bottling Dead Men’s Breath (working title). One line even resorts to bottom humour and that is always the last resort. Okay, not quite the last as I also have a line about David Hasselhoff in it.

Ooh, and I received an email from Amazon about thirty minutes ago – The Graveyard Book (Neil Gaiman – as if you need me to tell you that) has been dispatched. Woot! Oh wait, I have to read my books in the order I purchased them… Scratches chin and decides ‘sod that’.

15 comments:

Aaron Polson said...

Hasselhoff is the man. Best of luck with Dead Jesters--I think you have some delicious black humor (humour?)!

Catherine J Gardner said...

You know Windows Live Writer is a little annoying - it insists on American spellings. We had an argument and I won my U. :)

Jamie Eyberg said...

good luck with the story. Mark is available for parties now.

Barry Napier said...

Wow,...my rejected sub from Dead Jesters was also sold to Arkham Tales. Of course, 40% of it was rewritten...

And good luck with your next go at it

Catherine J Gardner said...

Thanks Jamie. :)

Barry - How bizzare. Well at least I know which market I'm going to try when I receive the rejection from DJ.

K.C. Shaw said...

Oh, gosh, if I made myself read my books in order of when I bought them, I'd probably never read again. I've got some on the To Be Read shelf that I picked up back in March (second-hand, though, which doesn't really count).

Good luck on the story! I think you've got lots of dark humor in your stories!

Natalie L. Sin said...

My first submission to Dark Jesters sucked worse than a hooker with braces.

I just made that phrase up, by the way. Feel free to share with others ; )

justin-pilon said...

I got one at DJ, but it's zombie fic so I'm guessing a 99% chance of rejection.

Catherine J Gardner said...

KC - I'm forcing myself to read books in order as some books on my shelf have been there years.

Natalie, mine sucks worse than a hooker with braces too!!!

Justin, you know I'm guessing if it's funny they're going to be okay with the dead people.

Carrie Harris said...

I'm sorry, but I think the idea of bottling the Hoff is freaking hilarious. I can picture waiters at restaurants: Would you like some of the Hoff '08? Or Perfumiers: Madame, can I interest you in some Eau Du Hoff?

Snarf.

Catherine J Gardner said...

Carrie, I don't know if you do or don't write short stories but you should write something for the Dark Jesters anthology. I don't think a day has passed since I started visiting your blog and you started visiting mine that I haven't laughed at something you've written.

Mary said...

Perhaps it depends on one’s sense of humour. (I’m now stuck with an image of Hoff’s bum.) But with those ingredients, comedic possibilities abound! :)

Kelly said...

Good luck, I love your title!
I'd keep the Hoff out of the story though!:0) Though, it was a brilliant move in the Spongebob Squarepants movie!

Rob Brooks said...

I know some people with serious Hoff fetishes. It's scary. But good luck with your story. I haven't heard back form mine yet, but I feel mine isn't dark enough, either. We'll see what they say.

Catherine J Gardner said...

I've given up on that story - it stunk.

And yeah, I know someone with a Hoff fetish. :)